"the aim of the production team is to ensure that there is every chance of drunken frolics every night ... And of course, alcohol does not only lead to chance sexual encounters, it also leads to verbal violence and possibly physical violence as well. BB UK has certainly had some examples yet they persist in pouring endless drink into the HMs."And as it was in the beginning, so shall it be in the end. (Paul Weller: Beat Surrender)
Finally BB got what they wanted - a reaction that generated headlines and gave them what proved to be a headlining share of the audience. It was long overdue: the BB budget for HM's booze must have been well overspent. When it happened BB were totally unprepared. It seems that there was not a single Senior Producer to hand and the much vaunted 'Social Media Interactions' ceased immediately as BB went into defensive mode. The Tweeting team advised us to watch this space and for more than an hour they said nothing. The next day they and the mighty FaceBook OBB team drummed up interest and said not much. But the story appeared anyway and by the next evening much of it was known. Frankie 'won' a task which got them free booze. He did not win free music but they got some anyway. The drink was drunk as were some of the HMs. Denise pulled down Karissa's pyjama bottoms. As far as I could see they came down far enough to show her underwear. There was also some boob feeling by Denise and discussions about toplessness between Denise and Nicola.
It appeared that Karissa had suffered an indecent assault according to her Diary Room appearance. Threats of legal actions were bandied about, lawyers were summoned, never had such a modest person showed so much ass to the world. BB stonewalled until sobering up took place. Nicola got changed into her shortest night dress and then demanded to be let out the front door mortified that her selfish behaviour had been challenged etc etc.
Well that's what we saw. But was it what happened? Two real 'fight events' took place.
- Fight 1. Denise versus Twin 2 and Twin 1 &
- Fight 2. Denise versus Nicola.
If you subscribe to the Karissa version of events her modesty was severely challenged. It seemed she was only a couple of steps from the Nunnery and certain beatification when she was shamed by uncalled for and never revealed before 'assification' when her butt was revealed. A little research proves that she makes a living out of showing her ass, her boobs and her scrupulously waxed lady-garden to the world. She has also recently suffered from the misappropriation of her movie camera and the subsequent release of a sex tape she had made to the Interweb. Her ass is no stranger to publicity and indeed has gotten paid for many, many personal appearances.
So why was she going on so much?
In my view the twins decided in a late night twin visit to the bathroom earlier this week that they would target the other female members of the house to increase their own chance of winning. What we saw was a completely false fit of modesty as part of gameplay. The twins are strategists. To win they have to be the last woman standing and then see off the male challenge. It was, to quote Mr Weller, "Bullshit". The aim was to make her seem sadly wronged and to gain some sympathy from the voting public.
- Leaving? Bullshit.
- Lawyers? Bullshit.
- Hitherto undisclosed asset? Bullshit.
- Modest, shy, retiring and badly wronged maiden? Bullshit.
Denise and Nicola had a disagreement, principally about Denise showing her boobs in the pool whilst drunk, and flashing her bra on the 'Japanese Game Show' while sober. Nicola is also now the very model of a born again virgin who admits to frequently getting naked on many occasions for the titillation of the reading, leering and viewing public for magazines, videos, publicity shots etc etc. This paragon of modesty (Nicola) took Denise to task because her behaviour was offensive to? ............ Nicola.
Difficult why she should set herself up as the arbiter of decency and what has it got to do with her anyway? Unless of course she feared that a willingness to engage in slightly nude behaviour could encourage the voting public to support the bare-chested HM that she will never be (anymore). Again her threats to leave were mere Bullshit. Anybody leaving in January would be advised to wear more clothes anyway.
As I said last time:
Nicola was exactly as we imagined her to be, shrewd, grasping and self centred. Whether cleaning the house to get air time, weeping over the children she chose to leave behind, playing to the cameras in the DR or shredding the other HM's letters from home it was all about her. She won't win but she played well for her moment in the spotlight.She continues to play her game. Comparing herself favourably to Denise over their respective numbers of sexual partners and the difference between taking your clothes off for money and on the beach (or on BB) for example. Denise managed to play the 'shredding letters' card but she was well outclassed. She is quite good on 'Loose Women' with her cutting remarks and withering glances but I am guessing she does not do the show after having a few drinks.
These trivial arguments, fuelled by alcohol, led to some handsome viewing figures for Channel 5.
There was plenty of in your face verbal violence but nobody came to blows. Ideal conduct really.
What did we learn? And what did we learn that we did not know already? Who were the predators and who were potential snacks?
1. Twins. Brilliant gameplay, absolutely self centred and ruthless destruction of anyone perceived as opposition. Playing short game tactics in support of long game strategy. Truly the lionesses in the house. Top predators.
2. Denise. She could be good but when she is drunk she is hopeless. Poor decisions setting her up for ruthless attacks by the best game players in the house. She is like a 3 legged Antelope - staggering from here to the place she becomes dinner. Outclassed.
3. Nicola. Excellent attacking strategy. She joined in to give Denise a kicking while she was down. If Denise had decided to walk Nicola would have laughed herself to sleep. Her feeble attempt at 'let me out of here BB' was pretty transparent but as before she is very shrewd, used to living on her wits. Without a close ally like the Twins have she has to take her chances when she can - more of a Hyena than a lioness but to be feared anyway. Played the fight well.
4. The men.
Michael, Gareth and Romeo stayed out of the way. They all realised that it was a no win situation taking sides and the rule is simple: Never step between fighting women. Any real contributions they did make never made the edit. Of course Michael would not lose too much sleep if Denise left. If Romeo was any more laid back he would enter cardiac arrest. Gareth seemed genuinely uneasy with women shouting and that is probably directly attributable to the recent break up of his own marriage. So despite the wisdom of using camouflage to avoid being eaten they did run the very real risk of splinters up the ass from fence sitting. Plus of course the evenings highlights had no male contribution at all to linger in the voter's minds. Good game by the girls producing all female highlights and the best viewing figures Channel 5 have managed. Men? Drawing their rations under false pretences, apart from...
Frankie. He did his best and it was probably the hardest thing he has done in his young life. He tried to step in between them and offer some consolation where he could. He was very lucky that the predators never ate him and spat out his bones. He changed a lot of people's opinions of him on Fight Night and may well have eased himself from 2nd to 1st place. He may not be a real predator but he is certainly not a snack for real beasts - and that is not Bullshit.
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